Tags
domination, kinky, life, love, real life, relationships, sex
I nearly finished it with him, meaning well best not say his real name i will call him master!! the most funniest, intelligent sweet guy i know, but there is flaws.
I tried finishing it i just couldn’t it like im addicted to the bad ways in which he treats me .
To bring you up to speed the past 8 months i been in relationship full of betrayal and disceit and most def some lies 50 shades has nothing on this , master told me everything a girl needs to hear how pretty, sexy i am , we spent some nice weekends together and i was hooked!!.
Then he started show his true colours letting me down when we were suppose see each other , started name calling in sex calling me a whore and a slut etc which i don’t mind during sex as it did turn me on.
I actually meet him of pof , i noticed he was still using it but denied any contact with girls just on it for a laugh he said ? i should of knew better , he had me where he wanted hanging of a thread at his beck and call. We tried all new types of things well i did , he probably done it with 100 other women .
He wanted me to be his slave in short and him be master , me pleasing him this went on for so long and i got bored of his constant let down it made so upset when all i wanted was him but he just seen me as slag, I’m sure his view on women must been brought on by something , i reckon it was his ex girlfriend who cheated on him! with his best friend . But surely he would want to not treat people the way he got treated as he must no it hurts??, so i did give up on him and got myself boyfriend but he didn’t come close to master there was no passion , excitement , the feeling of being naughty the intimacy of being able to talk about anything ,in the end i could not stay with some one who i didn’t love .
Within few days and master an i were back in contact seeing each other at weekends again , i started to ask master we this was heading , his own words were ” your not good enough for me ” ?? . Bearing in mind he spent last few months seeing me , i treated him like a king when he came round , do anything he asked weather it was making breakfast looking after him or dressing like a slut (in the bedroom ) to make him happy and other kinky things which i will go through at later a date.
Another thing this top a lot things he came out with , he puts girls in categories!! A. being the best and lower down the alphabet worse girl you would be!! he said i’d never make cat A!! like who even tells that to a girl . Infact the day he told me this were in a pub i literally could of picked his drink up an threw it on him , he knew it hurt i went quiet , i didn’t no how to reply.
Master had a habit of calling me pathetic saying how worthless i am, believe it or not after a while you doubt yourself and start believing what he says . I no am nice confident, independent girl yet he makes me feel so small and not worthy??, im not sure . Don’t get me wrong i enjoy kinky kind of sex I’m not afraid of it or domination in the bedroom is all fine as long it that were it kept. This has moved out bedroom and it our lives now.
How do you base your life around it or even let go ,let me tell you it is very complicated , Master tells me he been talking to other girls yet i find myself wanting him more when he says it , he knows by now it gets a reaction of me , think he like the attention of other girls of dating/kink sites as he can pretend to be who he wants in his little fantasy world , were as i no everything his good and bad points .
I’m sure you all think crazy for still wanting him , my closest friends do they hate me more for carrying it on i think . So what happened recently for me to start this blog!! Well other week i went on holiday , i got a text of him saying you should be in Leicester which is were i live . it then progressed to him telling me he going stay at some fat slags house , you can imagine my feelings i was devastated i just thought really do u hate me that much ?? .
After my holiday he came round tried telling me he was winding me up , i didn’t no what to believe he only popped on as he been climbing that his true love . Then he called in couple days later on Saturday night , he sat in the bath i sat there talking with him some things he comes out with are amazing , he looked at me in a different way as he sat there in the bath , he knows how i feel besotted with him fool to myself , there could be more between us if he let it happen and stopped playing stupid games and if he stops thinking the grass is greener , We are close but he won’t let his guard down with me not sure why i don’t sleep about , i don’t go on all these dating sites i am faithful to him . Maybe i am like his ex girlfriend in too many ways which reminds him of how he got hurt ?? as he does say often she just like you?.
Back to that Saturday night anyway , so we sat talking it was so nice then went to bedroom half hour later , him being on his phone of course . He got up dressed and left at midnight!! so u can imagine what i thought he was going to a girls house probably , first he said he was going to his mates then when he was leaving he was saying he was going home , i couldn’t talk to him , he reached over to me i pushed him off me .
I don’t think knew how upset he just got me though. I think he did when spent the next 24 hours sending nasty texts to him lol . I told him never again , though last night all i wanted was him i text ed to tell him, he loved it and put i knew it!! .
So now it continues for how long i not sure . I no one thing i am going to blog everyday if it 5 words or 500 , till this ends between us , i am going to tell you the secret life i am leading . I know your thinking do i love him ?? i can’t answer that maybe you can . Untill tomo xx
Seductive_Emma 